I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
