Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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