..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
