just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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