also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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