see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
