she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
...so i touched it.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
