Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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