It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
