do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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