I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
