i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
