What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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