Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
