if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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