I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
smell my finger.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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