Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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