Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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