I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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