I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My dick has a subreddit
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
