How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I love you.
Bad choice
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
