Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
