bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
