i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just pee around me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
