I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
