wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
