even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is it because I queefed?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
