THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
