checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
