Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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