I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
