I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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