We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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