Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
