Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
