I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
