Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
