take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
