he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
