There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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