You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
