She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So I just went to clothing optional bar
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
