and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think my moral compass just broke
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
