U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
