ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
