Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize