I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
