you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
