Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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