Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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