Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
